The New Normal

I was feeling so good for a period. Probably a whole month. I started thinking that I was either just an emotionally void person or had actually accepted it. Although now (and the last few days) I have felt just as sad and broken as the day I left the hospital. Everything triggers me lately and I hate it.

Planned Parenthood called our restaurant today wanting to reserve a meeting room we have; I cried. Someone posted an article about how amazing the post-baby body is; I cried. I saw a woman holding two newborn twin baby girls (of course they were girls); I REALLY cried. My friend is 5 months pregnant and I saw her bump for the first time the other night - I cried so hard; I had a panic attack.

Is this how it's going to be forever? Back and forth between the new normal and depression?